It Ain't What You Do, It's The Way That You Do It...

Research findings released this week by family law group Resolution show that around eight out of ten children and young people with experience of parental separation or divorce would prefer their parents to split up if they are unhappy, rather than stay together.

What we found most interesting from the poll of young people aged 14-22, is that their feedback showed it’s not divorce itself, but the way it’s handled, that has lasting impact (see right).

As lawyers, we see the impact that bitter court battles and prolonged arguments over where children will live and spend their time can have on families. As collaborative lawyers, we see how different it can be.

Taking a different approach to your separation, and not simply falling into the ‘traditional’ divorce process of appointing solicitors and battling it out in court, can make a huge difference to your family in the long run.

Working things out together, with the help and support of lawyers who are trained to help you make decisions, without the courts, can drastically reduce acrimony. It can also help you create a more constructive and positive future for you and – crucially - for your children, too.  

We know how hard it is when you’re in the midst of separation to look forward and envisage life years from now. A life where your children are growing up, marking milestones, celebrating successes. But the way their relationships with you and your ex will be shaped is down to the both of you, and the decisions you make now and in the months and years to come.

It is possible, with the help, advice and guidance of specialists, to stay in control of your divorce and agree the terms between you: not leave them in the hands of the courts.

As Resolution’s research shows, the way divorce is handled has a lasting impact. Or, in the immortal words of Fun Boy Three and Bananarama (or Jimmie Lunceford, Harry James and Ella Fitzgerald, depending on your musical preferences): It Ain’t What You Do, It’s The Way That You Do It. That’s What Gets Results.

If you have questions about separation or divorce, you can find an expert in your local area via this link. All Brighter Future members are trained collaborative lawyers and family professionals.  
Brighter Future